|Antya-līlā||Chapter 14: Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's Feelings of Separation from Kṛṣṇa|
Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Antya 14.53
pralāpo vyādhir unmādo
moho mṛtyur daśā daśa
cintā — anxiety; atra — here (because of separation from Kṛṣṇa); jāgara — wakefulness; udvegau — and mental agitation; tānavam — thinness; malina-ańgatā — an unclean, almost dirty state of the body; pralāpaḥ — talking like a madman; vyādhiḥ — disease; unmādaḥ — madness; mohaḥ — illusion; mṛtyuḥ — death; daśāḥ — conditions; daśa — ten.
"The ten bodily transformations resulting from separation from Kṛṣṇa are anxiety, wakefulness, mental agitation, thinness, uncleanliness, talking like a madman, disease, madness, illusion and death."
This verse is part of a description of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī's different traits from Ujjvala-nīlamaṇi (Vipralambha-prakaraṇa 153), by Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī. In this book, he elaborately explains the ten symptoms as follows.
Cintā, anxiety. As stated in the Haḿsa-dūta (2):
yadā yāto gopī-hṛdaya-madano nanda-sadanān
mukundo gāndinyās tanayam anurundhan madhu-purīm
tadāmāńkṣīc cintā-sariti ghana-ghūrṇāparicayair
agādhāyāḿ bādhāmaya-payasi rādhā virahiṇī
"At Akrūra's request, Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma left the house of Nanda Mahārāja for Mathurā. At that time the mind of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī was disrupted, and She became almost mad because of extreme separation from Kṛṣṇa. She experienced great mental pain and agitation, which caused Her to drown in mental speculation in the river of anxiety. She thought, 'Now I am going to die, and when I die, Kṛṣṇa will surely come back to see Me again. But when He hears of My death from the people of Vṛndāvana, He will certainly be very unhappy. Therefore I shall not die.'" This is the explanation of the word cintā.
Jāgara, wakefulness. As stated in the Padyāvalī (326):
yāḥ paśyanti priyaḿ svapne dhanyās tāḥ sakhi yoṣitaḥ
asmākaḿ tu gate kṛṣṇe gatā nidrāpi vairiṇī
Thinking Herself very unfortunate, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī addressed Her very dear friend Viśākhā, "My dear friend, if I could see Kṛṣṇa in My dreams, I would certainly be glorified for My great fortune. But what can I do? Sleep also plays mischievously with Me. Indeed, it has become My enemy. Therefore I have not slept since the departure of Kṛṣṇa."
Udvega, mental agitation. This word is explained in the Haḿsa-dūta (104) as follows:
mano me hā kaṣṭaḿ jvalati kim ahaḿ hanta karavai
na pāraḿ nāvāraḿ su-mukhi kalayāmy asya jaladheḥ
iyaḿ vande mūrdhnā sapadi tam upāyaḿ kathaya me
parāmṛśye yasmād dhṛti-kaṇikayāpi kṣaṇikayā
Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī addressed Lalitā, "My dear beautiful-faced Lalitā, I cannot express how My heart is burning. It is a great, unfathomable ocean of anxiety. Still, I wish to offer My obeisances at your lotus feet. What shall I do? Please consider My condition and advise Me how I can become peaceful. That is My desire."
Tānava, thinness, is described as follows:
viśuṣyantī rādhā tava viraha-tāpād anu-dinaḿ
nidāghe kuly eva kraśima-paripākaḿ prathayati
When Uddhava returned to Mathurā after visiting Vṛndāvana, Lord Kṛṣṇa inquired from him about Rādhārāṇī and Viśākhā. Uddhava replied as follows: "Consider the condition of the gopīs! Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī especially is in a very painful condition because of separation from You. She has grown skinny, and Her bodily luster is almost gone. Her heart is immersed in pain, and because She has given up eating, Her breasts have become black, as if diseased. Because of separation from You, all the gopīs, especially Rādhārāṇī, appear like dried-up water holes under the scorching heat of the sun."
Malina-ańgatā, uncleanliness, is described as follows:
tava viraha-vipatti-mlāpitāsīd viśākhā
Uddhava said to Kṛṣṇa, "O most auspicious Kṛṣṇa, please hear me. The tribulation caused by Your absence has made Viśākhā languid. Her lips tremble like trees in a strong wind. Her beautiful face is like a lotus flower that has withered under the snow, and her eyes are like lotus petals scorched by the heat of the autumn sun."
Pralāpa, mad talking, is explained in the Lalita-mādhava as follows:
kva nanda-kula-candramāḥ kva śikhi-candra-kālańkṛtiḥ
kva mandra-muralī-ravaḥ kva nu surendra-nīla-dyutiḥ
kva rāsa-rasa-tāṇḍavī kva sakhi jīva-rakṣauṣadhir
nidhir mama suhṛttamaḥ kva tava hanta hā dhig vidhiḥ
This is Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī's lamentation for Her beloved Kṛṣṇa, who was away from home. A woman whose husband has left home and gone to a foreign land is called proṣita-bhartṛkā. Lamenting for Kṛṣṇa in the same way that such a woman laments for her husband, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī said, "My dear friend, where is the glory of the family of Mahārāja Nanda, who wears a half-moon ornament on His head? Where is Kṛṣṇa, whose hue is like that of the indranīla jewel and who plays so nicely on His flute? Where is your friend, the best of all men, so expert in dancing in the circle of the rāsa dance? Where is He who is the real medicine to save Me from dying of heart disease? I must condemn Providence, for he has caused Me so many tribulations by separating Me from Kṛṣṇa."
Vyādhi, disease, is also described in the Lalita-mādhava:
uttāpī puṭa-pākato 'pi garala-grāmād api kṣobhaṇo
dambholer api duḥsahaḥ kaṭur alaḿ hṛn-magna-śūlyād api
tīvraḥ prauḍha-visūcikāni cayato 'py uccair mamāyaḿ balī
marmāṇy adya bhinatti gokula-pater viśleṣa-janmā jvaraḥ
Being greatly afflicted by the pain of separation from Kṛṣṇa, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī said, "My dear Lalitā, kindly hear Me. I cannot bear suffering the fever of separation from Kṛṣṇa, nor can I explain it to you. It is something like gold melting in an earthen box. This fever produces more distress than poison, and it is more piercing than a thunderbolt. I suffer exactly like someone almost dead from cholera. To be giving Me so much pain, this fever must be very strong indeed."
Unmāda, madness, is explained as follows:
bhramati bhavana-garbhe nirnimittaḿ hasantī
prathayati tava vārtāḿ cetanācetaneṣu
luṭhati ca bhuvi rādhā kampitāńgī murāre
Uddhava said to Kṛṣṇa, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, all the gopīs are so afflicted by Your absence that they have become almost mad. O Murāri, at home Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī laughs unnecessarily and, like a madwoman, inquires about You from every entity without distinction, even from the stones. She rolls on the ground, unable to bear the agony of Your absence."
Moha, illusion, is explained as follows:
nirundhe dainyābdhiḿ harati guru-cintā paribhavaḿ
vilumpaty unmādaḿ sthagayati balād bāṣpa-laharīm
idānīḿ kaḿsāre kuvalaya-dṛśaḥ kevalam idaḿ
vidhatte sācivyaḿ tava viraha-mūrcchā-sahacarī
Lalitā wrote Kṛṣṇa the following letter on Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī's behalf: "My dear Kṛṣṇa, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī has fallen unconscious on the ground, Her mind greatly agitated by Her separation from You. O enemy of Kaḿsa, You have now become a first-class politician, and therefore You can supposedly give relief to everyone. Therefore please consider the plight of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, or very soon You will hear of Her death. Maybe at that time You will lament, although now You are jubilant."
Mṛtyu, death, is explained in the Haḿsa-dūta (96):
aye rāsa-krīḍā-rasika mama sakhyaḿ nava-navā
purā baddhā yena praṇaya-laharī hanta gahanā
sa cen muktāpekṣas tvam asi dhig imāḿ tūla-śakalaḿ
yad etasyā nāsā-nihitam idam adyāpi calati
In the following letter, Lalitā chastised Kṛṣṇa for staying in Mathurā: "Simply by dancing in the circle of the rāsa dance, You attracted Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī's love. Why are You now so indifferent to my dear friend Rādhārāṇī? She is lying nearly unconscious, thinking of Your pastimes. I shall determine whether She is alive by putting a cotton swab under Her nostrils, and if She is still living, I shall chastise Her."
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His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, Founder Ācārya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness